“We are the same family – no matter what your religion.”

I’ve slacked off on getting this travel blog started and I’m not sure why. I guess I wanted to make the most of my time in London with my friends and try not spending it at a computer typing away. That’s something I learned the first night of my Birthright-Taglit trip last year and didn’t want to make the same mistake again. There’s more down time in Amman though. I take a taxi back to my host family’s home by 11 pm, my curfew every night except Thursday. Thursdays I can stay out until 2 or 3 am in the morning I’ve been told.

I arrived in Amman Friday around 7 pm local time, noon home time. Everyone was pretty anxious about starting his or her experience here. We only found out at the airports who we were living with. In turn finding out who had a roommate and who didn’t. I was one who didn’t and that freaked me out.

They gave us a form before the trip asking me my rooming preferences and I filled in the blank stating I would rather be on my own. I’ve made up a logic behind that answer but am not sure how honest I’m being with myself. What made me uncomfortable was how quickly I realized this wasn’t the same as being in Israel, the only other foreign country I had traveled alone in – even though that experience lasted only a few hours before I met up with Mark. I had made great friends with the people in my class and I was used to saying goodnight to someone in English, knowing we would wake up the next day and walk the 7 or so blocks to class together, all 15 of us. Having a roommate would’ve lessened the stress of the first night and the second. I’m on my third night but can still clearly remember what Friday night felt like.

I was completely terrified. My accommodations were and are stellar. My host father speaks wonderful Russian – something that makes me feel at home. I’ve got Internet access, my own bedroom and bathroom, warm water, and endless amounts of delicious homemade food. It was just being alone for the first time in 2 weeks in a country and culture I had never seen or experienced before that got to me. The idea of communicating to someone who knew shwey, or a little, ingleesi in hopes that we would understand each other enough for him to drive me to wherever I needed to go in the city was daunting.

There’s no bus system where I live and walking anywhere I need to go would take too long. The 7 weeks I had left until the end of my adventure added to my anxiety. Deep down in my gut I felt myself wonder whether I should ask to be placed in a hotel or with a roommate – maybe I should just leave after the Peace and Conflict Studies program ends – make up some excuse. I told Paula today, who’s also on her own but near classmates, that if someone had handed me a ticket to fly home that night I would have gladly packed my bags and left and she agreed. I’m glad someone else feels that way so I know I’m not the only one.

So why did I start this blog now? We had our orientation today and Hala, our wonderful program manager, said a journal was a good way to deal with culture shock and homesickness. Writing down the events of the day would keep me grounded and reflective rather than with my head in the clouds wishing for my mother’s stew, my father’s hug, my grandma’s kiss, my cat’s inaudible meow, and Becky’s hand in mine with our feet in the Atlantic.

I also feel like I should export this experience to as many people as possible. Preconceptions, misconceptions, and willful ignorance abound around the world when it comes to the Middle East.

Today my host mother was preparing to show me a view from one of the windows in their salon, a room used to entertain guests, and asked me what my religion was.  It was an innocent question intended to precede my view of a mosque out of the window. I hesitated, unsure of how to reply. I am not a practicing Jew but when asked outside of the States in particular instances I am comfortable replying as such. I struggled to form a sentence but then blurted out, “I’m a Jew.” She smiled and showed me the view. She could tell that I was uncomfortable and nervous in proclaiming my Judaism. On her way out of the room she told me this though: “We are all the same family – no matter what your religion.”

I wanted to share that here and with everyone who might read this. I know that not everyone will be accepting of me here but I’m not here for a vacation – to me this is a modern day adventure and if I break some prejudicial barriers, make it through a few disagreements, and learn to make my way around Amman and through every day life in arabee then I will call it successful.

Anyway, I know this was long. The rest should be much shorter. Thanks for making it this far if you did. I have some stories to tell about London too so come back here – same time, same place – to hear about how I took off my shirt in Hyde Park to treat an unconscious fellow and how the most any of us drank was in the presence of the HRH the Duke of Kent and HRH the Prince of Jordan.